please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
