Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
what day is it and did you see me today?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
