nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
