If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
