You're so nebulous sometimes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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