nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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