we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
