She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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