God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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