I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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