quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
