He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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