Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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