We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Randomize
