This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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