Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
