I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
