I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
