One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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