I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
