i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
