So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
