I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
