oh god the rape fog is back!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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