I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
