We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
