this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
