you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
not ubering you a puppy
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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