with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize