At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
