Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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