what day is it and did you see me today?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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