god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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