he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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