I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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