Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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