I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
her vagine was all disorganized.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
