New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
