dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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