ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
