i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
