um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
