i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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