it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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