They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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