out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I will be naked everywhere
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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