I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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