This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
