from now on my penis is your penis
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
