i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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