we have officially lost it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
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I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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