marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
