Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
