bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
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My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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