He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
