he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
