happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
