Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize