Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize