i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
