after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
